Living with Chronic Pain is something you will never understand until you are had it! I know this because 13 years ago I started the journey with Chronic Pain and it is something I will never escape. Prior to that I had Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, mild Fibromyalgia, Depression, and Sleep Apnea. Chronic pain is a totally different entity though, it’s something that’s with you all the time, you don’t sleep because the pain is to bad, you don’t go anywhere because there is no energy to go, and you isolate yourself from family and friends because you know, from experience, no one is going to understand!
My journey with Asthma, Chronic Fatigue, depression, and mild Fibromyalgia began in my mid thirties, when I came to a place in my life that I could no longer deny and hide from the abuse and traumas I had suffered in my childhood. I spent many days in my bedroom crying, rocking in a rocking chair, and sleeping. After months of living this way I decided I had a family that needed a wife and mother and I emerged, but I was not better. I was so angry about the things that had happened to me that I would unintentionally fly into a rage over the slightest thing. It was an awful time for me and my family, I finally got a wake up call one day when my children and I had a particularly bad morning and I was just yelling all morning. My husband came home for lunch this particular day and when he went to go back to work my pre-teen daughters grabbed him around the waist and ask, almost begging, to go to work with him because they didn’t want to stay with “her”! It brings tears to my eyes even now knowing I behaved that way and hurt them. My emotional pain was so great, I had no idea how to cope. That was my wake up call! I could not stand my children felt that way and the hopeless look in my husbands eyes told me, I had to do something.